Lessons from a smarta$$ teenager, volume 2
Last December, I reflected on the many leadership lessons I learned from my sometimes-too-smart teenager in Lessons from a smart a$$ teenager. It became my most-read newsletter of the year. And this year, I find myself reflecting on even more lessons, because Harper just keeps them coming. So, by popular demand, I’m back with volume 2.
And this one hits a bit different for me.
You see, we’re heading into a year of lasts in my household. As a senior in high school, it seems that every event, every ritual, and every poignant moment with Harper comes with a particular weight that lays heavy and imprints on my heart. We’re at the precipice of finality and new beginnings, of memories known and a future we can’t yet know.
But I suppose that’s life, isn’t it? And business? Reflecting on the past to influence our next move. Then using those moves to increase the surface area of our luck as we strive for the future we wish to create.
So, here I am, reflecting on a year of lasts and firsts with hope for an ever-improving future for my daughter, for me, for my loved ones, and for the future of work.
Lesson #1: Keep rewards in the line of sight
Harper discovered that AP Precalculus is not her jam. It takes a lot of motivation for her to dig into studying. One evening, she came to the dining room table, set up her laptop, and then purposefully placed a box containing a new Lego McLaren F1 car just out of reach but in her line of sight. To add weight to the maneuver, she announces to the room (that would be me) that she will do an hour of studying for her Precal test, to be rewarded by unboxing the Lego set. Putting it in her line of sight would help her refocus on her current priority.
So what does this teach us as leaders? Motivation isn’t one-size-fits-all. 🚗 🚙 🏎️
For some, it’s recognition; for others, it’s creative freedom or a tangible reward. So, find out what lights a fire for your team, put it in their line of sight, and let that be their focus to push through. Then you can celebrate your wins together.
Oh, and for my self-employed friends? This is important for you too.☝️ What rewards are you putting in your line of sight?
Lesson #2: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
I say this a lot, actually, but Harper brought this one to life in beautiful fashion.
This year, Harper was the only high schooler featured in the Greater Denton Arts Council’s 30 Under 30 Exhibition (not-so-humble mom brag). Her talent is undeniable, but what’s even more striking is her willingness to put herself out there. She raised her hand. 🙋♀️
Leadership takeaway? Talent gets your team to the table, but encouragement and safe spaces let them go beyond. Are you fostering an environment where people feel comfortable stepping and shooting their shot? How much performance is being left at that table? It’s all about creating the space. Here’s to all the leaders out there making room for creativity, recognition, and learning moments for your teams.
Lesson #3: Sometimes leadership is just carrying the stool
At most of Harper’s orchestra events, I’m there, carrying her unnecessarily heavy bass stool, cheering from the audience, or waiting in the wings. Recently, Harper told me how much it means to her. “Mom, I play better knowing you’re there, quietly carrying the stool.”
Effective leaders understand the power of quiet support. By being present, attentive, and willing to lend a hand with the little things, leaders can inspire their team to perform at their best. Harper's observations reminded me that subtle actions can make a big impact, giving team members the confidence and motivation to go out there and kick a little tail.
Lesson #4: Don’t let the numbers (or haters) limit you.
Harper’s art business, Harper Hues, has grown exponentially this year. I mean, it’s legit! Her hardest lesson? Learning not to let one critique or a slow sales day dim her enthusiasm. But her financial reporting shows a 300% increase in the first 4th quarter this year compared to the first three (yeah, that’s right, she tracks her financials). Why is this important? Because college, baby. 💸 Having a little spending cash as she learns how to successfully build the future she strives for.
And boy, do I need to listen to her when it comes to this lesson, particularly in my own business.
In workplaces, we can fall into the same trap: focusing too much on metrics and forgetting the bigger picture. Keep your eyes on the horizon, not just the dashboard.
Lesson #5: There’s beauty (and endless possibility) in the unknown.
I think it’s safe to say not knowing where our path may take us in a few months time can be…uncomfortable, at best. For Harper, deciding where she’ll be for school will come down to her final college decision in March. For Chad and I, it’s determining where and how we want to spend our empty nester days.
But here’s the thing…the unknown also brings possibility. The three of us have had a blast dreaming up what those futures might look like, playing out the “what ifs” and embracing the mix of excitement and nerves that comes with it. As Harper so wisely put it, “It’s scary, but it’s exciting too.”
The truth is, we can only move forward from today. And while the road ahead might not be clear, it’s wide open for opportunity.
Lesson #6: Independence is a gift, and balance is the key.
Thanksgiving break was a perfect snapshot of Harper’s journey to independence. The weekend before, she powered through everything on her plate…managing her art business (Harper Hues), knocking out homework, and practicing her bass. By the time Thanksgiving arrived, she was ready to spend the next few days doing absolutely nothing, fully indulging in rest and self-care.
Her ability to balance hustle with pause is a reminder of what independence can look like when done well. It’s not just about taking charge of your responsibilities. It’s about knowing when to step back and recharge.
As leaders, parents, or even just humans trying to navigate life, we can all take a page from Harper’s book: tackle what’s needed with focus, then give yourself permission to breathe. Because thriving in your independence means owning your effort and your rest.
It’s been a year of growth, change, and Harper-isms that make me laugh and think. As we step into 2025, let’s all aim to listen a little more closely to our teams, our families, and maybe even a sarcastic teenager or two.
Big thank you to my daughter, Harper, for co-creating this newsletter with me. You make me proud. 🫶
Cheers to a holiday season filled with joy, reflection, and a wonderful world of unknowns.
Warmly,
Marnie
🎧✨🔥
(See ya next year!! -Harper)
